Restoration, Renewal, & Hope: The Difference A Month Makes

Taken just five days after brain surgery, December 4, 2018

The scars on my forehead are gradually disappearing.

Forehead scars fading, January 3, 2019

My 8 inch-ish C-shaped incision behind my ear where a piece of bone was removed for surgery and then replaced with titanium screws is also healing. The muscles and nerves there do cause me some discomfort, and I’m having to be sure I’m moving and stretching by turning my head often enough to avoid creating strictures.

I need to keep my head on straight! Literally.

The hair behind my ear was clean shaven for the incision during surgery. The neurosurgeon left a layer of hair that adequately covers that scar. He shouldn’t quit his day job, but it’s clear he is good at what he does do! The good news is that my hair in that area is already an inch long. We’ll see what I do for a hair style once everything is healed, hair grows long enough, and I can return to my actual hair stylist. That is our friend’s, Michael at Identities in Kalamazoo, area of expertise.

I’m nearly off all pain medication. I’ve been off steroids for about 10-14 days. I am definitely thinking more clearly now that I don’t have a tumor, am not on steroids, and I’m going off pain medication. I’m finding myself less tired during the day too.

I’ve walked up to 3300 steps out on the road in front of our house with my bright red walker. There is one small hill that I call “you won’t own me” that does get my heart rate up and kicks my rear. Last year at this time I would not have even considered it a hill to be conquered. In doing my walking, I have put myself in great shape for the vestibular physical therapy I’m doing at Core Balance in Kalamazoo three times/week, an hour each time. And boy, let me tell you I leave there with rubber legs. I work hard. They are encouraging me to do as much as can at home, and that includes walking, grocery shopping, housework and homeschooling, but nothing that involves ladders.

I’m sleeping, and that is HUGE. It’s an incredible gift.

I still have facial droop and numbness. I still can’t blink my right eye, and if I’m not careful, could actually sleep with one eye open. I CAN drink with a straw and eat on my right side, although I have to be careful not to bite myself. I have hope that this will result in full facial functioning in coming weeks or months. While I was at Walmart the other day, I forgot that I need a straw to drink . I took a swig of Sprite and spilled it all down my front at the checkout. That is embarrassing, and frankly, this is part of a grief process that I am going through. Even though the people that love me aren’t noticing some of my limitations, I do. And they can’t be minimized to me. I don’t like scaring children when I try to smile at them, and can only do what looks like a grimace. Strangers can just be rude, and that is hard to take.

Keep your big girl pants on, Deb.

That’s harder to embrace than I realized it would be. And, often, my family receives the impact of my impatience, anger, and demoralized feelings. So here I am on January 3rd, trying to keep up the good fight and to keep faith. (2 Timothy 4:7)

January 3rd, the difference a month makes: forehead scars are lightening, less tired looking, inflammation reducing, same attempt at smiling.

Clinging to Restoration, Renewal, and Hope in 2019,

Deb