Tag Archives: family

Hello, Summer! How I’m Transitioning Through New Seasons of Life

I’ve been absent from social media and blogging. Or incognito. Or something. I’ve been posting less and following less. My priorities have kind of shifted for a season. Hello, Summer! There are some new life seasons, and this is how I’m transitioning. 

The end of February and March brought our first daughter, Lydia’s bridal shower and wedding. She was a beautiful bride, and she and her new husband clearly adore each other.

May brought our 5th child, Elizabeth’s, graduation from Legacy Academy homeschool high school. She graduated with the local homeschool group. There were 51 graduates who participated in the group graduation. Each student’s parents said a blessing over them. It was beautifully emotionally exhausting.

If it weren’t for my Lilla Rose business, I’d probably never have learned how to use Canva. Without Canva, I’d not have learned how to make yard signs for my daughter.

Then, over Memorial Day weekend, my husband left for two weeks to participate in grading thousands of American politics Advanced Placement (AP) exams in Salt Lake City. When he left Utah to return home, there were only 75000 entries to go. Needless to say, he’s still grading those here at home, in addition to leading his summer class at Western Michigan University, and the ones at his additional side gig adjunct professor job. Super funny, though, that in some ways when I had six children at home, his being away for a week or ten days was harder, but in other ways, it was easier than it was with two older children.

I miss all the kids being here doing our June projects!

Elizabeth, Anna, and I started working on our gardens around Elizabeth’s greenhouse work, which she started in May also.  We also worked around Anna’s horse volunteering and riding lesson schedules, and our various appointments. We’ve even been trimming tree limbs so they don’t poke us in the eyes while we garden. Our burn pile is ridiculously high. I’ve been investing in various tools that aid in reducing my imbalance issues or that don’t require me to rely on the muscle strength of someone else. Last year I invested in this drill attachment for digging holes for plants and bulbs. Honestly, I’ve also been using it in the garden to turn over dirt and mulch.

We are pleased with how pretty our property is turning out. We’re enjoying new yard ornaments, new humming bird feeders and the evening visitors to them each day, bird baths, and our month old ducklings enjoying time out on the lawn while we work.


In this new season, I’ve started seeing a mental health counselor. A lot of people criticize Facebook posts or other social media as “fake book.” It’s not fake or disingenuous keep all the dirt one or one’s family is going through, nor do all one’s thoughts need to be aired. Not putting up all the hurts, not engaging in all the “discussions”, etc, is merely respecting privacy or placing boundaries around relationships. Not everyone needs to be privvy to the inside scoops within personal and family dynamics. Sadly, we have learned this the hard way by being open and honest-so sometimes we’re either too honest or we’re accused of being a fake.

At the advice of my new counselor who is helping me transition through the new stages and seasons, I’m considering the things that drain me and the things that fill me as I explore my purposes. Some of the drainers are not things I can negotiate, like medical appointments and therapies. Even my OT has suggested that my neuromuscular brain retraining therapy is going slower with out finding more things that bring me joy in my life.

I’m placing an emphasis on rest and on rediscovering joy in this season. 

How am I doing that?

I’m making gifts.

I’m gardening.

I’m sitting with my chickens and listening to them.

I’m crafting. My kitchen currently looks like my brain exploded with craft ideas and supplies.

I’m cleaning and organizing areas of our home-just not the craft supplies in the kitchen.

I’m reading for pleasure.

I’m spending a lot less time on social media.

We’re considering what homeschooling will look like with only one child left at home, and where that child’s focuses should be.

I’m considering where my focus on my Lilla Rose business should be. For the summer, I’m doing no craft shows or festivals.

I’m enjoying my own company, quieting and holding captive my thought life, and enjoying the quiet of our home. Admittedly, sometimes it’s down right weird to be alone or to have quiet! Sometimes, I allow myself to grieve the losses I feel from the transitions. There have been a lot of changes to our lives in the last few years.

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5


What are you doing to enjoy summer this year?
Where is your favorite vacation spot?
What book will you enjoy?

Tell me here, and if you are a new to Lilla Rose or current LoveLeavingLegacy with Lilla Rose customer, enter my summer appreciation customer giveaway running until June 16th, 2022. I’d love to bless a winner with $17 in Lilla Bucks to use on my Lilla Rose website.

Entry form:
QR Code for Jotform form

Sharing Lilla Rose products and gifting are Joys for me!

 

Hair Tutorial: How To Do An Easy Wrapped Pony Tail

One of my six children is getting married at the end of March. When I saw a post in a group I’m in for ladies “going gray naturally” with a photo of a lady with long silver strands in a wrapped high pony tail, I got excited! I knew I’d have an easy hair style idea to present my hair stylist for my hair for the wedding! I recently got face framing layers with a side part on the affected side of my face, and pony tails are easy! My shortest layer tucks behind my ears. My hairstylist will be able to easily braid or French braid a section of my hair, wrap it around the base of my pony tail, and secure it with my favorite comfortable Lilla Rose bobby pins or a flexi clip. I’ll ask him to curl the pony tail tresses and some of the face framing sections left out of the pony tail, and then spray it with hair spray to prevent any flyaways or shorter hair from slipping out of the pony tail. I’m imagining this being a middle-high pony tail, not a low one.

Hair tutorial: Easy Wrapped Pony Tail

Hair Tutorial: An Easy Wrapped Pony Tail

Below are two tutorial videos. One is a video A-Grape and I did a few years ago which describes how to do wrapped pony tails with bobby pins. The other is a low braided wrapped pony tail with a flexi hair clip. We could also use U-pins or hair sticks!

FLEXI: Braided Ponytail from Lilla Rose Inc. on Vimeo.

We’re in the midst of finding shoes to match our dresses. I no longer fit in the Dress Shoes With Heels Club, because hello imbalance disorder and fall risk. Finding comfortable and nice dress shoes with a stable low heel is proving to be quite a challenge. My dress skirt is also a high low hem, as I am afraid of tripping if the skirt wrapped around my ankles.

I need to find jewelry, beyond matching the dress and the wedding theme and colors, that isn’t too heavy on my numb ear, neck and shoulders, and won’t poke or prod those areas or make my head tilt to the right to increase the chances of imbalance and dizziness.

Finally, I have met with a make up artist to learn some techniques for creating the appearance of facial symmetry around my “not great at blinking” right dry eye while using make up that won’t cause itching or other problems around my eye, plus decrease the eye opening of my unaffected facial issues, while “opening” the right side affected by facial nerve weakness and the need for ongoing neuromuscular brain retraining. I have to do different techniques around my mouth in order to appear like I’m smiling from both sides of my mouth equally, which means using bronzer to create the appearance on one size of my face, and highlighter on the other side to decrease natural lines on the unaffected side. Make up is a challenge for a 50+ year old mom’s skin and then to “create” something on my face because muscles aren’t freely moving increases the make up challenges for a non make up, natural appearance person! The learning curve has been steep!

These are not your average wedding stressors! Thanks a lot, acoustic neuroma! I see my make up artist and my hair stylist in the early morning of the wedding, though, so I’ll have some help.

What would you do for your child’s wedding: a traditional Mother of the Bride (or groom) updo? Or would you try a fancy braided pony tail? Do you have an expert do your hair and make up?

Give me some feedback! Maybe I’ll change my mind!

I Want To Shop Lilla Rose Hair Accessories With LoveLeavingLegacy

Thanksgiving Lessons During the Making of Mom’s Fresh Apple Cake: Dear Church Family, Thank You Mom for Legacy

Dear Church Family,

Tonight is our annual church Thanksgiving dinner. I signed up to make my Mom’s Fresh Apple Cake. At the time I signed up for what to bring, I was selfishly thinking “What is easy?” or not as selfishly “If I end up not being able to do it myself today, what will be easy for the girls?” Is it also selfish of me to want to cut a piece out of it before I send it to church with my family? Because I might do it.

What I didn’t know when I was a teen and in my 20’s was to appreciate that Fresh Apple Cake would become my Mom’s signature dish for all things potluck, all family gatherings, all trips. It’s a totally made from scratch, nothing from a can or box cake.  I get it now, Mom. Thank you for the legacy thought! It’s a true family age old recipe! I’m learning these are the best for passing on.

Recipes, Fresh Apple Cake
What I didn’t know as I made my Mom’s Fresh Apple Cake is that seeing my now 30+ year old recipe card, now stained with oil drops and sandy with flour, sugar, and cinnamon is that it would move me to tears. I didn’t know the memories that would flood. Even though my daughter agreed to get her copy out of her recipe book, I wanted to use the recipe card I’d copied back in the day from the card in my Mom’s recipe box. Thank you, Mom, for teaching me to value small things like personal touch and seeing the person in the memory, in a recipe card. We don’t get that in the digital age and on Pinterest! Thank you for teaching me shorthand because your Mom knew it and used it, and for what I’d need to know when I got to college and my nursing degree. There’s shared history and value in the actual writing. I remember Grammie S. in all of this too. This was originally her recipe. Thank you for sharing that history with me.


I didn’t know that as I diced apples into the mixing bowl, I’d be dicing a piece of my heart into that bowl. I didn’t know I’d hear her voice from 836 miles away with advice: “I always just put one more apple than what the recipe calls for for good measure.” as she put a slice of apple into her mouth and said “Yum. Good.” (I didn’t do this, so be at ease, Church family. This is a post Covid-19 era, and I wouldn’t eat while I baked the cake.)  Her advice was to always use Macintosh apples, too, for what it is worth to you. It means something to me. I get it now, Mom. I really was listening when I rolled my eyes at your seemingly frugal and archaic ways. I was a disrespectful 20-something know it all. I’m sorry for that. It’s a deep regret. I *really* do get it now. Thank you for making these memories for me, and for teaching me Joy in Simplicity.

What I didn’t know as I made my Mom’s Fresh Apple Cake is that I’d cry the tears bottled up for all the ways I have guilt for not appreciating my parents over the years, or words I’ve spoken that have hurt them, or words that seemed to judge them for the baggage they carry from hard experiences in their own lives. I get it now, Mom, and I’ve had to go through some hard stuff all on my own to get here. Words and the tongue are double edged swords, and the way they are phrased or spoken can unintentionally harm, but they can also build up. Maybe the way I heard them weren’t the way you meant them and I misunderstood. Thank you for teaching me Grace the best way you knew how.

I didn’t know that I’d be wondering as I diced the apples without any new shiny latest and greatest Pampered Chef tool, just my hands and my good old fashioned 1990’s wedding gift knife “Is someone helping Mom bake Dad an apple cake for breakfast? Does he bake it now? He doesn’t ever follow a recipe.” I didn’t know I’d be wondering if I should bake my Dad a cake the next time I travel to see them, or if Fresh Apple Cake is USPS friendly. Thank you, Mom, for teaching me the gift of consideration for others. I get it and all the time I get it even more.


My Mom told stories of packing my Dad’s favorite chocolate chip cookies into a coffee can and mailing them overseas for a taste of love and home when he was shipped out to sea with the Navy. I get it now, Mom. Would you like me to send Dad cookies for Christmas with your name on them? I remember that he likes them crunchy, even though I don’t. I’ll do it for you, Mom, if you want me to. Your Memories may be fading, but we can carry them on for you. LEGACY, Mom.)

My Mom is still very much alive, just not able to make cookies and Fresh Apple Cake. She has some demons she now wrestles, and right with her, I and my brothers and my Dad and our children all wrestle demons of our own for her.

Thank you, Mom, for teaching me about persistence and overcoming, doing our best, laughing at bad situations, making the best of hard things, and working hard. We might not have been financially rich growing up, but you made us appreciate the better things in life. I didn’t appreciate those lessons when I was younger. I do now. I’ve tried to pass these traits on to my children too, for you, for better or worse, and whether I did it well or not.

Just like you, Mom.

I’m more like you than I ever appreciated and realized. I’m thankful for that.

Thank you, Mom. It took more than 30 years, but I get it now. I love you now, and I always have.

Church family, enjoy my Mom’s legendary apple cake at Church Thanksgiving dinner tonight. There really may be a piece missing when I send it, but know that I replaced it with a really big piece of my heart.

I’m off to make a not so legendary Green Bean Casserole for the church family for tonight, too. I got it off the interwebs and the Google. <insert a 20 something’s eye roll here> There may be a piece out of that as well, because a girl’s gotta eat you know.

But no worries, I am not a canned cream of mushroom soup kind of girl, either, and I know some don’t like mushrooms. So at least it’s void of ‘shrooms and made from scratch. Well, except the canned green beans I used this time. I usually don’t use those. I was looking for easy–again. It does have flour in it if my gluten free family need to know. Signing off as the Whole Foods kind of girl. See Mom? I can attempt goofy humor in spite of a broken heart just like you do! Thank you for the gift of humor in the middle of some really garbage-y times.

With Love & A Broken Heart,

Blessings,

Deb


Lessons from a Family Legacy, recipes, Fresh Apple Cake, Thanksgiving, Faith