Comparing Apples & Oranges

I walked 8500 steps or about 3+ miles at the mall on Monday. On Tuesday and Wednesday I walked 9000+ (partly because I have mean sons who wouldn’t let me off the hook.) ♥ I’ve gradually been working up the number of steps I’m walking because I have a goal of losing 3 lbs/month before my son’s wedding. I had been biking but I had a bike injury, and I have to keep losing weight. Frankly, this is for my health too, because this time last year, I was feeling physically lousy for a while.

I keep saying I don’t mind looking like the proud mom of six, but I don’t want to look like the frumpy proud mom of six. I don’t want to buy a dress for the wedding until I’ve reached a few more of my goals. I bought the Lilla Rose Arrow flexi clip in varying sizes and coordinating bobby pins for my hair. I have hair jewelry. But I have no dress.



In the past couple of weeks, I’ve received some really negative comments and attitudes toward my health goals and about business oriented concepts. I can honestly tell you that my dander is up!

Don’t tell me I can’t or won’t achieve them!


I was at the mall at 8:30 on Tuesday to walk. I’d had no coffee yet. I really couldn’t believe I was there that early, being that I’m not a morning person anyway.

I began observing who was also walking, because I figured there wouldn’t be many of us.  There were middle aged men, whole families, children walking with Grandma, and ladies pushing baby strollers. Ladies my age had weights strapped to their wrists and ankles as they blazed a trail doing mall laps. There was a group home of people with diverse special needs. There were several well seasoned in life men and women literally taking 15-20 steps, and sitting on their walkers to rest. They repeated getting up, walking 15-20 steps, and then sitting to rest.

I passed one very seasoned gentleman four times before he made his one lap. Actually, I didn’t pass him. I could have/would have, but I felt bad so I turned before I reached him and did my lap in the opposite direction instead. I felt like I was flaunting that I could pass him….and frankly, I was proud of him for going that lap. That was clearly hard work for him.

This brings me to the negative business attitude I have seen with direct sellers within some direct sales companies and selling groups. There seems to be the sentiment by some direct sales leaderships that if one person has a certain set of challenging circumstances, and they achieve some level of success or a earn a promotion, then anyone can achieve that level of success without too much difficulty. If they don’t, they are making excuses. That comes with some dangerous elite-est comparison attitudes, sometimes, suggesting that another person’s situation isn’t that difficult or as difficult as another’s. Or, it suggests that the person not achieving success doesn’t have high enough goals or perhaps priorities are wrong. Comparison gets ugly.


What if I’d said to the seasoned gentleman making his one lap “Come on. You can do more. If I can do it, so can you.” What if I’d said that to the young mom who was pushing the infant in a stroller and a 2 year old not wanting to keep up? It would be pretty jerky and insensitive of me to tell her she wasn’t pulling her walking weight.

All these people at the mall were walking with the same idea, same goal, same purpose. They are trying to maintain or regain their health. They were all doing so at their own pace, based on their own needs and circumstances, and working hard. They were getting their steps, miles, laps in, reaching their own private goals. Some of us were healthier and could walk faster. Some of us are doing great if we could do a single lap in an hour and a half.

Going into direct sales, small business, and entrepreneurship is not that different. Nobody can or has the right to determine another’s priorities or goals. All are always looking at circumstances of another through the lens of their own personal ones. What is motivating is observing another whose circumstances as far larger than we think we can manage, and then saying “Hey! You have more circumstances/more hard than I do! How do you do it so that I can improve?”

On Wednesday, I hadn’t wanted to walk at all. I’m allowed 2 days off/week. I was sore, tired, and it was cold and snowing outside. I didn’t want to leave my warm house, but my son would not take no for an answer and insisted I go walk with him. He was driving, so I reluctantly went.

I’m glad I did, by the way. We had great conversation, and I went those 9100+ steps which has me 900 steps away from my first goal of getting up to 10000 steps, and ahead of schedule, for what that is worth.

While he was parking his car, I began my warm-up laps through the food court. As I made my first lap, I saw the seasoned gentleman with his walker. He had a big smile on his face as he headed to a table of his waiting friends. First, I was convicted of my laziness. This man had already been walking for his one lap, and it was only 9:30 in the morning on a cold, snowy, blustery day. I hadn’t wanted to leave my house. I resolved to walk a little faster as I rounded my second lap waiting for my son. As I did, I noted his table of friends, all happy to see him, greeting him. Nobody saying a single negative thing or looking impatient at waiting for him. They just all began to have coffee together and celebrating their morning routine.

I got a little teared up.

This, my friends, is positive team encouragement, accomplishment, and success. It’s beautiful when there is no condemnation or judgement, no “what took you so long.” or “You could have done it faster if only you had…” It’s beautiful when we each set our own pace and achieve our goals. It’s beautiful when we have positive reinforcement and support.

Do work ethic and an entrepreneurial spirit energize you? Do you love hair styling and accessories? Would you love excitement, rewards, fun, and friends?


During January, I’m seeking 10 new Stylists to join my Lilla Rose team, and to be Hair Heroes with me! With effort you’re able to put into your business, you could earn a full or part-full time income by helping ladies look and feel beautiful, and by providing them with an easier morning hair routine!

Message me for details, click my Lilla Rose link and sign up to “become a Lilla Rose” too.


I can promise that I’ll do my level best to be an encouraging and supportive influence as you work toward the business goals you set for yourself! To the best of my abilities, I won’t compare my apples to your oranges and be one of *those* leaders!



What a fantastic Lilla Rose January customer special! Most excellent.