I want to share a lesson, a revelation, that has happened in the last couple of years now that we have adult children, one about to be married.
We might have moved to an advisory role as parents, and can no longer decide for our adult kids what they should or shouldn’t do, but we can also be exasperating parents and stumbling blocks, and hurt our future relationships with our children.
If we criticize, rather than listen and encourage. or make their decisions about us and our human wisdom, rather than about their obedience to the Lord and calling, we are stumbling blocks. We exasperate. Even in the midst of having concerns about their decisions, ones for which they are under no obligation to us, we can pray, listen, encourage, and even support them if the decision itself is not dishonoring to God or a sin. We can choose to say “You are smart. I have confidence that you, with prayer and wisdom from God, will figure this out. I will pray for you as you do.” even while thinking something they are choosing simply might not be wise. We need to understand that they now own their consequences. We could encourage them to dishonor and disobey God in a calling if we are not careful and wise in our own responses.
Our response as exasperating stumbling blocks is actually prideful and our own sin . The other response honors God, and builds lines of communication and relationships. It encourages their obedience to the Lord. Criticism for their decisions might not yield the result of obedience to the Lord. Instead, it could build distrust in us and a barrier or wide divide in our relationships with our children.
I want to be a praying parent to my adult children. I want to be the parent who encourages them to obey the Lord, and to be a source of wisdom that they want to turn to. I want to be the parent that helps smooth the path for right relationships.
I read this post by The Imperfect Homemaker, 5 Things My Mom Never Stopped Doing For Me, a few days ago. It is a post honoring the blog writer’s own mother’s success at parenting the adult writer. I can choose to be like that too, and not be an exasperating mother to my adults.
What do you think? What can you do for your adult children?
P.S. We’re gearing up for our annual fundraising campaign for Reece’s Rainbow‘s Miracle of Adoption Christmas Campaign. We’d love to remind you of our fundraising items in our shop, and on our Facebook page there are more albums of items for sale that benefit the child for whom we are going to be raising $1000 between November 1 and December 31, 2106. Pay pal is our method of payment for all orders for fundraising sales. The child for whom we are praying for a miracle is Hannahlee.
We linked up with The Modest Mom Blog.